


Shades of Blue

by junxouji



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Abuse, Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Drama, Drug Addiction, Drug Use, Emotional Manipulation, M/M, Multi, Psychological Drama, Psychological Horror, Psychological Torture, Unrequited Love, kpop
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-06
Updated: 2014-06-06
Packaged: 2018-02-03 14:27:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,624
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1747868
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/junxouji/pseuds/junxouji
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Luhan has everyone under his fingers, he bends them to his will, and makes them of his design.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Shades of Blue

**Author's Note:**

> “My baby lives in shades of cool.  
> Blue heart and hands and aptitude.  
> He lives for love, for women, too.  
> I’m one of many, one is blue”

_Shades of Blue_

 

I.

 

Jongin was all sixty four shades of blue. Sometimes he smiled and Luhan swore he saw sky blue in his twinkling gaze. Then there was days when the blue grey storm clouds in his irises raged with fury and untamable anger.

Sehun was always massive bit of dark blue, almost black. It was like an endless pit and unpredictable in it’s anger. If Jongin was a depressingly bitter storm, Sehun was a tragically angry whirlwind of fury. Jongin was bitterness and pity, Sehun was anger and resentment. Both dangerous in their own way. Both beautiful and broken in another way. Had Luhan not loved them for everything that they were and everything they wasn’t, Luhan might have seen the signs. But Luhan, himself, was a bit too fucked up to point the finger at the insanity reflecting in Jongin and Sehun like a sadistic mirror.

Because they all suited each other despite the obvious issues they had. Issues. That’s what they called it. It was a little beyond that but neither Luhan, Sehun nor Jongin was interested in breaking the delusional relationship based on premature lies and the curse they’d both ultimately die for.

If people saw, they didn’t say anything. It wasn’t their business what the three no good kids did to ruin their lives. Right? Had they done something in advance, summon up what little courage humanity had would they have been saved? Would the spirling events that lead to their nearly inevitable demise ended a happily ever after instead of a fucked up tragedy by lost boys only looking for a bit of acceptance and a whole lot of booze to drown their sorrows in?

It was probably for the best. There was a special kind of hell for those type of bastards.

Luhan dragged a lot of people into their chaos. Kris - the poor guy devoted to Luhan, willing to do anything to please him. Kyungsoo - the innocent boy who got so mistreated by Jongin, it was no wonder when he finally snapped. And then ultimately he did the worse to the brothers; Sehun and Jongin were his favorite.

 

II.

Luhan knew what they thought before they even had to say it. It was the same every time he moved. The infamous title of new kid had been branded on his forehead. People treated him the first few days with mild curiosity, whispered here and there about his parents and ultimately he was forgotten. Teenagers were terribly awful. Wave a new face around like a toy and it caught their attention for a bit, then like all new things, it was replaced with something new and Luhan remained in the back of their minds forgotten as quickly as he came. This was his fourth school this year. He rummaged through his locker, with a bitter smile. He remembered what his mother had begged before he left home,

 

“Lu, please don’t cause trouble. It’s your last year.” She had spoke rapidly in Chinese, “We can’t afford for you to get in any serious trouble. Your father is an important man, it would look bad if his son keeps getting in trouble and involved with --”

“I get it,” Luhan had cut her off. “Don’t mess up anymore.”

 

It wasn’t like Luhan asked to get into trouble. It simply found him. He shoved his text books into his locker. You could say he was apathetic. He didn’t care much for school, had no idea what he wanted to do with his future, and preferred a cocktail of antidepressants to reality. His parents had money and that cushioned his lifestyle.

Luhan and society didn’t get along. He didn’t get along with his parents. His classmates. Luhan and God didn’t get along. He was very much alone and he was use to it. Eventually he would fuck up here and he would move again. His parents would spend money to cover everything up and it would all end nicely.

He didn’t really feel bad about the messes he had left behind him. It had been pretty ugly scandals. The first school he had went to, he had gotten into a lot of fights. In the end he had gotten involved with a drug dealer. A male. But Luhan simply used him for the drugs. In the end, Luhan had gotten the shit beat out of him and his parents pressed charges since Luhan was a minor and the man wasn’t. At the second school Luhan had introduced his new fling into drugs. His name was Kris, he had been handsome and a great fuck. Except he was so overbearing and jealous. Luhan had broken it off when he got annoyed. Kris didn’t know how to take rejection, stalked him, beat up Luhan’s dates, and everyone was too afraid to talk to Luhan in fear of Kris’ wrath. Death threats, calls, and harassing emails came. His parents found out and they moved away to get away from Kris the madman. Luhan was proud though, Kris was of his design, he had made him crazy with love. At the last school he had set it on fire - not directly of course. He had Minseok, his newest boyfriend, do it. If he loved him, he would kill them all. He wanted to watch them all burn. However they stopped the fire and Minseok got taken away. His parents enraged, moved him again convinced it wasn’t their son’s fault. He simply got mixed with the wrong sort.

In reality, Luhan was the puppet master and they were his little mindless love sick dolls. They did as he asked and Luhan asked for a lot. It was really beautiful. Crafting people to his design and will. After all, would anyone believe the wide eyed and beautiful boy was capable of doing any of that himself?

Luhan shut his locker door and gathered his things. He wanted to skip but assumed his parents would keep an eye on him until it looked like everything was smooth and back to normal. He suspected they doubted his innocence, but the fools never said anything. Anyway, he had to go to class for a while. How else was he supposed to scout for his next toy?

The homeroom teacher made Luhan introduce himself which was always annoying. But he made them see what he wanted to see;

“Hello, I am Lu Han. I am from Beijing. I hope we all get along well. Please take care of me.” He graced them with a charming smile. It was good to be liked. It made everything much easier in the end.

He was told to take his seat in the back next to a few boys. He just wanted to break free from the classroom, get a smoke or two, and maybe something heavier to take the edge off. He pulled his phone out coyly and saw the blinking 15 missed notifications. His lips pursed in aggravation. How many times had he told Kris to not call or text him anymore? He was a failure to Luhan and it was a pity for such a waste. But he couldn’t serve his purpose so Luhan had no use of him any longer.

 

Monday 4:15 AM [From Kris Wu]

I can’t stop thinking about you.

Monday 4:19 AM [From Kris Wu]

Why won’t you talk to me? What did I do wrong? It’s been a few months and I’ve heard nothing from you. You’ve blocked me on everything and refuse to answer me.

Monday 5:44 AM [From Kris Wu]

I know I am a fuck up! But I want you. I will do anything for you. I didn’t mean to make such a mess. Just please! God, Luhan. Call me back at least. Tell me why. You just disappeared.

Monday 8:00 AM [From Kris Wu]

I want to die without you.

 

Luhan sighed heavily. He wondered how long it would take for him to become irrelevant to Kris’s life. He longed selfishly that Kris would always cling to him, it fueled him, gave him a sort of power over the man’s life. He could make Kris cry, he could make him bend, and he could make him bleed. He smiled finally.

 

Monday 8:30 AM [To Kris Wu]

We can meet after class today. Come pick me up. I will send you the address.

 

He didn’t know what he was doing. Kris had shown him he could be dangerous. He could be possessive and angry when need be. Hell, Kris was the reason Luhan didn’t have any friends from his old school. But he wasn’t ready for Kris to forget about him just yet. He knew once he sent the address to Kris that the man was going to be waiting for him outside the school gates eager to fix up their mess and once Luhan would reassure his ego with a few kisses here and there, he would be a puppet for Luhan to control.

Then he would throw him away again. But this time he would make sure Kris couldn’t get back up. He smiled a little as he put away his phone and looked up at the classroom around him. What a lovely day this was turning out to be, he thought to himself.

 

~~~

 

Luhan pushed around the food on his tray, unimpressed with the lack of actual food here. His other school had been nicer. He pulled his phone out again and saw a message like he suspected with a smile,

 

Monday 12:00 AM [From Kris Wu]

I will be there. Thank you Luhan. I am really sorry. I can’t wait to see you. My heart feels like it’s going to explode.

 

Luhan was about to reply when movement around him caught his gaze. A tall, dark haired, tan boy was taking a seat at the empty table Luhan sat at alone. Luhan’s lips quirked up in interest.

“You seemed a little lonely. You’re the new kid right?” The guy asked as he shoved the unpleasing pizza in his mouth with little tact or manners. Luhan had to do everything in his power to not wince at the disgusting sight.

He was a teenage boy after all.

“My name is Luhan, not the new kid.” Luhan said through a thin smile. “What is yours?”

A mouth full of greasy pizza said, “Jongin. You’re Chinese right? Cool. I was born in Jeju, so I always get to brag about where I go on winter vacation. But China probably gives you better bragging rights.”

Luhan raise an eyebrow, “Does it? Well it’s nice to meet you Jongin. But I am not really lonely. I am waiting for the day to be over.”

However before Jongin could open his mouth full of food again, another boy was sitting down next to Jongin only to give the mannerless boy a smack on the back of his head.

“Don’t talk with your mouth full.” The blonde boy said as he sat. His eyes looked up as if he just now saw Jongin wasn’t alone. A sheepish smile spread across his lips.

“Sehunnie~” Jongin complained as he rubbed the spot he was hit, “This is Luhan. He’s our senior by a year. He’s new. And Chinese.”

“It’s nice to meet you, sorry you have to deal with my brother and his manners.” Sehun smiled, “I swear it wasn’t me who taught him.”

Luhan’s eyes widened in interest. “Your brothers? You don’t look much alike.”

“Half brothers.” Sehun clarified. Sehun looked outwardly more serious than Jongin. Sharp eyes, thin lips, paler skin with blonde styled hair, slightly more petite than Jongin. Jongin was a bit more outwardly wild. Dark messy hair, full lips, dark eyes with full lashes, muscular and tan skin. How could they even be related? It was amusing to Luhan.

“I am the older one!” Jongin said quickly as he threw his arm around Sehun, “He’s my twerpy younger brother.”

Sehun rolled his eyes as he pried Jongin’s arms from around him, “If anything the only ‘twerp’ here is you. God, wipe the food from your mouth.”

Luhan smiled suddenly. He felt a lot more welcoming suddenly.

“You two are cute.” Luhan giggled suddenly.

The two boys looked startled. By the compliment or by the laugh, it was unknown. Sehun sheepishly blushed and Jongin beamed proudly.

They were going to be deliciously fun to fuck with, Luhan thought as he closed his fingers over his lap. “What are you two doing this weekend?” He asked curiously, “I am throwing a welcoming party and it would be good if you two came.”

Jongin was first to speak, “That sounds awesome! Will be there.”

Luhan was going to have to condition some manners into that boy or it was going to aggravate him. Sehun seemed obedient and well behaved. Jongin was certainly going to be as task before he was any use to Luhan. As for Sehun, he would be easily wrapped around his fingers. He could tell by the shy and curious smiles Sehun gave him.

Like a child really.

“You both better come or I will be very distraught. I will look you up on facebook, vine or kakao and send you a message with the details.” Luhan smiled and stood. He had enough of today. He was done with school for now. He had found his targets.

 

Like promised and expected, Kris was waiting on him outside the gates in his familiar sleek black BMW. Kris had graduated two years ago, Luhan had been a freshman. Now he worked as some young big shot for his father’s company. Regardless, Kris seemed to still be devoted to him. And that’s all that mattered as of now.

Luhan came into distance of the car, Kris’ door opened and he got out looking frantic. He looked handsome as ever. Like some sort of Asian statue of Apollo the sun god. He was dressed like he always was. Slacks, a white button up undid some at the top, a pack of cigarettes in his shirt pocket, and a set of gold rings on with a watch Luhan had gotten him from his birthday.

He strode over, his hands touching Luhan’s face. His face was twisted into some emotion that made Luhan uneasy.

“You make me crazy, you make me wild. I can’t control it anymore Lu.” He began as if he couldn’t keep the words in any longer, “I don’t want to lose you.” He bent as if to kiss him and Luhan pressed a hand to his chest,

“Not here. Not now.” Luhan said steadily, “We need to talk first. So quit touching me.” He snapped as he pushed past him, Kris moving to open the passenger door for him. He got in and watched as Kris went around the car to get in. Luhan crossed his legs, “Let’s go back to your place.” He said.

“Okay.” Kris said.

The drive was silent as they headed there. Luhan could sense the fear and nervousness in the man it made him smile. To have control on someone much taller, much stronger, and wealthy.. he was under Luhan’s claws. It was amusing.

Kris’ condo was like Luhan remembered it. Clean, tidy, and sleek. Fashionable but comfortable. He stepped in, removing his shoes as Kris did the same behind him. He considered worrying Kris might get a little crazy, a little possessive - but overall, it wasn’t anything Luhan didn’t know how to control.

“Can I get some water please?” Luhan asked as Kris rushed to get the younger, smaller male what he asked for.

Luhan went into the living room happy to see everything was as he remembered it when he left him. Sometimes after breakups people redecorated, got a haircut, or changed something to signify turning over a new leaf. Instead it all remained the same as he took a seat on the soft leather couches. Kris returned a second later with a cold water bottle and took a seat across from Luhan, his knees on the outside of Luhan’s swallowing his small body as the taller male leaned closer no longer able to resist it and placed hands on each side of Luhan’s waist.

“You don’t know how much I love you.” Kris mumbled, agony clouding his eyes, “Every moment I was without you, I couldn’t help but how much I seriously fucked us up.”

Luhan took a sip of the water. “You sent death notes to my house, you beat up people who were going to be my friends, and you wouldn’t let me go.”

“Only because I can’t live without you. I am not saying it’s right but damn it Luhan! You act so indifferent to me! You would coo sweet nothings in my ear then disappear the next morning.”

Luhan looked at him, not blinking as he stared at the handsome face. “Kris, you love me now even though you know I’ve been cruel to you?” He asked as he leaned forward to meet Kris, their thighs brushings as he placed a hand on his cheek. “Tell me how I deserve you?”

“I just want to be with you. No matter what.” He said with a desperate soft sigh. “I won’t make any mistakes, I will do anything.. I won’t be so possessive of you. I won’t do anything to hurt you again.”

Luhan smiled gently. Kris, you fool. He brushed his thumb across his full lips, the softness something he remembered and yearned for. My pitiful fool in love. So blind yet you see so clearly. “I know you won’t Kris.” Luhan said reassuringly as he stroked Kris’ face sweetly, Kris’ big hand coming to cover his and squeezed on Luhan’s petite hand. “It’s okay, we can be together again. We’ll take it slowly so neither of us get hurt.”

That’s what Kris wanted to hear. To be reassured Luhan wasn’t there to stab him in the heart - even if his ultimate goal was to use Kris until he was no good.

But he shouldn’t be offended, in fact Lohan thought, he should be honored. Luhan was out to use everyone who was deemed useful. They were given purpose, crafted into what Luhan wanted them to be, served that purpose and then put away.

“I’m so glad.” Kris croaked out as his arms wrapped around Luhan, more confident this time as his lips brushed Luhan’s temple. His sweet little sadistic Luhan, always playing him for a fool. Kris wasn’t as foolish as Luhan thought.. perhaps he was more foolish. Knowing Luhan’s true heart and the overwhelming lack of care he felt for Kris, Kris still stayed around knowing that. Because he couldn’t help but hope that someday Luhan wouldn’t be so fucked up and broken - and when that day came he might actually return Kris’ feelings.

Until then, he was in it for good or for bad. Mostly bad. That’s just how it was with Luhan.

 

III.

 

Luhan supposed the natural way of doing things always ended up with him on his back being fucked by Sehun. The younger boy thrusted deep, statically as if to punish Luhan. Luhan mewled in response, positively thrilled by the demon lurking on the edge. Sehun was angry with Luhan and he was taking it out in the most marvelous way.

Sehun normally was very gentle and delicate with Luhan, often treating him as a girl. It happened somewhat a month after they met. The shy glances got bolder to nervous touches, fluttering of Sehun's poor heart, and ultimately Sehun spilling his feelings when his chest could no longer contain them.

It was going as Luhan imagined it would. Sehun kissed him softly, scared that Luhan would pull away. When he didn’t pull away, Sehun got bolder. Luhan needed his ego stroked. Luhan whispered sweet words back, “Sehun, I like you too… I really do. You’re so kind and caring.” But there was a but, like always; “But my boyfriend.. he’s really scary. Like mafia. He won’t let me go. He followed me from my other school here.”

“Don’t worry. I will protect you from him.” Sehun had said back.

The first time they had sex was a few weeks after Sehun’s confession. If Jongin noticed the difference between the two, he didn’t mention it. Sehun was a private person. He didn’t like PDA and preferred them being alone, holding hands or simply cuddling. They weren’t dating but Sehun was under the impression they were exclusive.

Sehun treated him as he knew he would. He flowered Luhan with romance. Cute things. He brought him bubble tea or a treat he knew Luhan fancied. He often carried his books to class. Luhan was the one who had to take it further than kissing with him. Afterwards Sehun cared for Luhan, asking if he hurted or if he had done anything wrong.

But eventually it all had to come to an end.

It always did.

Sehun saw one of Kris’ hickies. And he lost it. He threw things, he cursed, and ultimately he took Luhan roughly in his small bedroom. He fucked him so hard, Luhan himself wasn’t sure if he could take it. But he did, he had to. Because he wasn’t done with Sehun just yet.

Luhan breathed softly into the pillows, his ass burning from the mistreatment. Sehun sat on the floor near the bed, only his sweatpants on, his hair still a mess, and a scowl on his face. Luhan sat up, wincing a little for show and a little because it had hurt.

“You knew I was with him.” Luhan said, “I didn’t lie to you.” Sehun didn’t speak. He ran a hand through his blonde hair and sighed. “You have no reason to be upset with me. I can’t leave him, he’d hurt you. He’d hurt me. Eventually, he’ll tire of me. Until then we have to be a secret.”

“You want me to believe you? That some day that fuck will leave you?” Sehun asked bitterly, “Luhan, you’re too sweet. You and I both know you have your claws in him too deep for that. Like me. Even knowing I am just your secret toy, I don’t want to be without you. I can’t even gather the strength to be pissed anymore. I wouldn’t let you go either if I was him.”

“I love you Sehun.” Luhan mumbled, his eyes overflowing with mock tears as he bent down on the ground only a sheet wrapped around his lower body. He moved his arms around Sehun, pulling his face towards his. “I love you.” I love your misery. “I want to leave him, I do. But he’d only find me. After I graduate, I will leave him. I promise. We can run away together.”

“How can I trust you?” Sehun asked his eyes scanning the angel’s face.

“Sehun, you love me now even though you know I’ve been cruel to you?” Luhan asked as he softly pecked the male’s lips, “Tell me how I even deserve you?” He asked softly as he pulled away and patted Sehun’s face. “We’ll run away to.. America? How does that sound? We can get married there. Start a family. You wanted kids right?”

Sehun nodded sheepishly. “A daughter, a house, a dog, and nice job.” He said, “And you. That’s all I ever wanted.”

Too bad Sehun was going to die before he could get any of those things.

  
  


It was when Luhan searched through Jongin’s laptop he realized what the tan boy was into. Luhan smirked.

“Jongin-ah~” Luhan mumbled teary eyed one afternoon Sehun had to go to soccer club and he had asked Jongin to help him study, “I must confess something.”

Jongin looked up a little surprised, “What is it?”

Luhan broke into tears. Jongin startled was speechless as he tried to comfort him. Luhan leaned on his shoulder and cried, his arms tightening around the boy. “S-Sehun raped me!”

Jongin was in shock. And horror. “He w-what?” He asked in the empty classroom, getting no doubt to confront his brother but Luhan grabbed his sleeve sniffling.

“Please don’t say anything to him about it!” Luhan whined, “I just.. feel so horrible. Sehun-ssi must be so lonely to do that.”

Jongin stared in horror. His brother had done something so vile to their hyung? Their cute, innocent, little hyung who only smiled was now crying. But how could Sehun? He swallowed. “Luhan, this is serious. I can’t let him get away with this.”

“Please listen!” Luhan mumbled. “He..does this to me..because.. h-he..”

“It’s okay, you can say it.” Jongin said as he took Luhan’s hand, “I will protect you from him.”

“Because he knows I like you. He was jealous and angry. So please don’t blame him! I asked for it!” Luhan mumbled as the emotions flooded through Jongin’s eyes.

“Y-you?” Jongin stuttered, “Like? Me?” He asked shocked.

“Yes. Jongin-dede is so sweet to me. You’re not like Sehun who forces me to do bad things. You like to make me smile.” Luhan sniffed as he smiled shyly, “I really like you. I know it might be a burden to know..”

“You don’t need to worry. It’s not a burden. I won’t let Sehun hurt you anymore Luhan, trust me.” Jongin said as he squeezed Luhan’s hand softly. Jongin’s chest hurt. From the fear of what Sehun had done and the reality that Luhan liked him. What would he do now? “L-luhan...I.. I like you too. I don’t know if I like you like that but I am willing to try. I think I like you that way but.. it makes me anxious”

Luhan blushed deeply. “Do you really mean it?”

“Yes! You’re sweet and kind. I have to take responsibility for Sehun’s actions.”

“But promise me you won’t say anything to Sehun. I want him to live happily after all. It would only break his heart if he knew you were willing to try with me. He likes me..” Luhan mumbled.

“I won’t say anything. But he better not touch you again.”

“Jongin, you love me now even though you know I’ve been cruel to you by confessing?” Luhan asked as he hugged Jongin closely, “Tell me how I even deserve you?”

Jongin hugged him back not knowing the true cruelty of Luhan’s heart.

  
  
  


Thursday 1:10 PM [To Kris Wu, Sehun, Jongin]

I want to go out this weekend for drinks and clubbing! Please come with me >< I will give you a smooch if you do! <3 Love you~

Thursday 1:12 PM [From Kris Wu]

I’m in. I miss you babe. ;) hopefully we can do more than kiss. Are you inviting those damn brats? Love you honey~

Thursday 1:15 PM [From Sehun]

I can go. Don’t invite Kris. :/ I can’t tolerate his face. I want to see you afterwards. I miss you and you act funny around me now. Is it because of last time? You know I love you too.

Thursday 2:00 PM [From Jongin]

Sorry I was doing something. I can go! I was wondering.. are we like boyfriends now? Because all I seem to do is be thinking about you. Sehun mentioned something about hanging with you? You invited him? I just want to strangle him. god… >//< I love you too Luhan.

  
  


Luhan felt accomplished. He should have felt bad. Leading on three people and making them think these awful things about each other. It was really silly. Kris was no more abusive than a spoiled kitten. Sehun couldn’t rape him. And Jongin was too stupid to see what Luhan was really like; at least Sehun and Kris had an idea - Jongin was just blind to it all.


End file.
